Panic Sets In

I often wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way, but I don’t know because I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone I know personally.

I feel panicked about food. Like there won’t be enough or something. I honestly can’t put my emotions into words because 1. it sounds coo-coo for cocoa puffs, and 2. I’m not sure that even I know why I do it.

I’ll give today as an example. We had a breakfast banquet at work to celebrate a big day here. Fine. There was an abundance of food – some that I don’t eat (meat products) and the rest wasn’t so healthy anyway. Not a bit of fruit to be found. But I digress.

I knew this breakfast was at 9:30am – after all, I helped plan the breakfast. But as the time creeps closer to 9:30am, I feel anxious. Why? I feel like I need to be first in line or something. There’s always a mad rush. And I always feel like this at buffets, no matter where they are. I have to get it before it’s gone.

I wish this was the buffet I went to!

So today I took a different path and I’m glad to say that it did work – I decided not to eat. After all, I wasn’t hungry, the food wasn’t healthy and it’s not something I couldn’t have if I wanted to anywhere else.

And you know what? Just making that decision made all of those emotions go away. There was no panic since I wasn’t going to have any.

I think I’m on to something.

Now, I had to leave the scene. I don’t think I could have stayed there and looked at it and smelled it without eventually caving. I’m just not that strong.

But for today, it was a victory. I won.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Carolyn
    Sep 16, 2010 @ 19:08:53

    Hi there. I found your blog from the Healthy Living Blog site. http://healthylivingblogs.com/ It is nice that they list out blog locations. It is nice connecting with other healthy folks in the area.

    This is the first post I read, but I totally get your feelings and experience them also. I am a vegan, and I always get anxious about dining out in big groups. Is there going to be anything for me to eat? Am I going to have to modify my meal so much it is embarrassing? Am I going to make other people feel uncomfortable for their meal choices? Am I not going to eat and then really look silly?

    Recently I was out to dinner with my husband and my in-laws. There really wasn’t much for me to eat at this place other than a house salad (which hey, I’m used to and always seem to suck at restaurants… that is why i rarely eat out… I digress). I was starting to get baffled about what to do. My husband could tell. I leaned over to him and said, “I always feel uncomfortable about this thing.” (Meanwhile he mom is saying, “they should have something that is VEEE-GAN. I called and asked them.) Then my husband said, “You being a vegan, and staying true to your beliefs about healthy food, is one of the reason I love you. ”

    Anyways, probably the longest comment I’ve ever made on a blog.

    But… you are not alone.

    Carolyn

    Reply

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