Panic Sets In

I often wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way, but I don’t know because I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone I know personally.

I feel panicked about food. Like there won’t be enough or something. I honestly can’t put my emotions into words because 1. it sounds coo-coo for cocoa puffs, and 2. I’m not sure that even I know why I do it.

I’ll give today as an example. We had a breakfast banquet at work to celebrate a big day here. Fine. There was an abundance of food – some that I don’t eat (meat products) and the rest wasn’t so healthy anyway. Not a bit of fruit to be found. But I digress.

I knew this breakfast was at 9:30am – after all, I helped plan the breakfast. But as the time creeps closer to 9:30am, I feel anxious. Why? I feel like I need to be first in line or something. There’s always a mad rush. And I always feel like this at buffets, no matter where they are. I have to get it before it’s gone.

I wish this was the buffet I went to!

So today I took a different path and I’m glad to say that it did work – I decided not to eat. After all, I wasn’t hungry, the food wasn’t healthy and it’s not something I couldn’t have if I wanted to anywhere else.

And you know what? Just making that decision made all of those emotions go away. There was no panic since I wasn’t going to have any.

I think I’m on to something.

Now, I had to leave the scene. I don’t think I could have stayed there and looked at it and smelled it without eventually caving. I’m just not that strong.

But for today, it was a victory. I won.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Carolyn
    Sep 16, 2010 @ 19:08:53

    Hi there. I found your blog from the Healthy Living Blog site. It is nice that they list out blog locations. It is nice connecting with other healthy folks in the area.

    This is the first post I read, but I totally get your feelings and experience them also. I am a vegan, and I always get anxious about dining out in big groups. Is there going to be anything for me to eat? Am I going to have to modify my meal so much it is embarrassing? Am I going to make other people feel uncomfortable for their meal choices? Am I not going to eat and then really look silly?

    Recently I was out to dinner with my husband and my in-laws. There really wasn’t much for me to eat at this place other than a house salad (which hey, I’m used to and always seem to suck at restaurants… that is why i rarely eat out… I digress). I was starting to get baffled about what to do. My husband could tell. I leaned over to him and said, “I always feel uncomfortable about this thing.” (Meanwhile he mom is saying, “they should have something that is VEEE-GAN. I called and asked them.) Then my husband said, “You being a vegan, and staying true to your beliefs about healthy food, is one of the reason I love you. ”

    Anyways, probably the longest comment I’ve ever made on a blog.

    But… you are not alone.



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