Numbers

I wish I could say that the scale doesn’t matter to me.

I’m not defined by a number. I’m a person, not a weight or a size. I’m beautiful inside and out and that doesn’t change with numbers on the scale.

Evil scale.

But I’m human. And because I’m human, it bothers me. A lot.

I hopped on the scale this morning in my new found 30-ness and figured since it’s been a week, and I’ve done a little too much birthday celebrating (hello wine and chocolate!) that I might be up a little.

Um.

189.6.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have been in a “mood” since stepping off the scale.

From my perspective, this is a dangerous number. This is only 10 pounds away from being 200 pounds, which for me is considered obese.

And because I used to weigh 250 pounds, I know how easy it is to slip back into old habits and the weight just creeps up. Before I know it, I’m wearing a size 22 and miserable.

NEVER AGAIN.

I need to get on track and lose about 30 pounds. I HAVE TO. My joints are demanding it. I am demanding it. I want to be a good example for my daughter. I don’t want her to go through this. (And I’m VERY careful never to say anything about weight or the scale around her.)

I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and get moving…literally.

No more excuses. No dieting, just stop eating junk and eating when I’m not hungry.

I wish it was that easy. I need to do this. I have to do this.

It’s time to get serious.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Carolyn
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 13:37:06

    you CAN do this.

    I think you are in Sarasota, right? When I lived there I ran with a group from Fleet Feet. They are in Southside Village. They have a “Couch to 5k” program every few months, and fun runs during the week, and marathon/half-marathon training programs. I LOVED the friends I met from there and I keep in touch with a few close ones!

    Reply

  2. Carolyn
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 13:38:06

    Reply

  3. jj92980
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 13:59:16

    Carolyn, thank you so much for the encouragement. I feel like I could really use it right now.

    I live in Tampa. Thanks for the info, but I can’t run due to SI Joint Dysfunction that I’m in physical therapy for long term.

    But I need to focus on what I CAN do instead of what I can’t do. I can bike, elliptical, do yoga, low impact workout DVD’s. I need to get moving.

    Reply

  4. Carolyn
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 14:10:41

    Okay, I’m in Tampa too. I’m in the Brandon/Valrico area though.

    Yes, focus on what you CAN do and get moving. Why don’t you take a walk on your lunch break today?

    Reply

  5. Carolyn
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 14:13:28

    BTW – This Saturday is the Tampa Bay Veg Fest! http://tampabayvegfest.org/default.aspx from 10-6

    Reply

  6. jj92980
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 15:56:24

    I know! I was supposed to go but I’m attending a wine seminar at the Epcot Food and Wine Festival that day. I’m bummed because I really wanted to go to that.

    Reply

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