11.08.10

Yesterday was not exactly the best day as you can tell from my post.

But it’s a new day and that’s all that matters.

I have to say, I started searching for blogs online to read that were from people more like me. Whether I like it or not (or mean to), I compare myself to others. So when I read these other healthy living blogs that feature thin women who run marathons because they (*gasp*) want to and they eat these seemingly perfect meals with no junk…well, it doesn’t make me feel good about myself.

Because even on a good day, I usually eat at least some kind of junk food (sour cream and onion chips yesterday) and my workout was a 30 minute Walk Away the Pounds DVD. And even that was a stretch.

See, I strive for balance. And in my life, I’m not perfect. Not by any means. If I can manage to make it healthy and ideal about 80% of the time, I figure that’s perfection for me.

So, while I will still read those blogs (because I enjoy them and I get great ideas from them) I will not compare myself to them and I will read some more “real” blogs like me.

And furthermore, I am not always going to list the food I eat. Why? I don’t see the point unless I want to share a great recipe. I would rather focus on my accomplishments as a person rather than to let food define me.

Fantasy

Let’s pretend I had a good weekend. Let’s just say that I didn’t drink any wine, there wasn’t tons of sodium involved and I had perfect control. Didn’t pick up any goodies at the store and was strong in the face of temptation.

…and then I woke up.

Because in reality – none of that happened. I wanted it to. I went into Saturday focused and strong…and it was downhill from there.

Saturday included chinese food (though I did share with Sean) and falafels.

Sunday included candy and spinach artichoke dip.

As a result, I am up 4 pounds on the scale this morning. Happy Monday to me.

And if that wasn’t enough, I was determined yesterday that I would start getting up at 5am to workout. Yep, didn’t do that either.

I think that if I got up at 5am and LEFT to go to the gym or something, it would be different. I think I could do that because you are already out the house.

But when faced with my warm, cozy bed and snuggling up with my warm, fuzzy pups…well, guess which wins.

I won’t lie. I’m feeling like a failure this morning. It sucks.

And it just reinforces what was said by the author of The End of Overeating – the second you start to waiver on a food choice, you will likely give in. You have to have a firm NO when faced with it. There is no choice.

Although on the bright side today, my new haircut is cute and I like my new outfit. So there is something positive about today. That, and my girl looked adorable heading off to school today in her dress, leggings and boots with her watch and accessories. Such a little fashionista. It makes me smile.

God, I hope she never has to struggle the way that I do. This internal everyday battle just drains the life out of me. I’m tired.

11.04.10

What a busy day I had yesterday. Work is crazy, swimming lessons for my girl, busy at home. Lots going on. In a good way though. I feel content about it. And I’m thrilled to say that yesterday I actually felt good for the first time in two weeks. Thrilling. Maybe my sinus infection is on the way out. I have hope.

Onto the eats:

Peanut butter and all fruit jelly on whole wheat bread, banana

Vegetarian chili

“Chik’n” patty on a whole grain sandwich thin with mozzarella and marinara sauce – YUM. Tasted like chicken parmesan. How do they make Chik’n taste like chicken? Maybe I don’t want to know. Anyway, it was good and I paired it with edamame and some raw broccoli dipped in hummus.

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Here’s the thing though – I think I need to start planning ahead for my Thursday meals if I’m going to weigh in “officially” on Fridays. I ate WAY TOO MUCH sodium yesterday – about 3500mg. WAY TOO MUCH.

As a result, I can’t get my rings off today, and the scale is up 3 pounds when I know that’s not real weight. So I’m going to limit my sodium today, drink a ton of water and tea and re-do my “official” weigh in tomorrow.

Sometimes I focus so much on the calories/fat that I ignore sodium which is just as important. And while I love vegetarian chili (especially on cold days like today in FL) it is PACKED with sodium. Canned beans, canned tomatoes, chili kit = SALT. Maybe I need to make it with fresh ingredients instead.

Anyway, I’m rambling and not making sense. I’m trying not to make today crappy just because the scale says I’m up a few pounds. I know it can’t be true and I need to just keep focused.

11.03.10

Do you ever have days where nothing sounds good to you? This was my day yesterday. I wanted to eat, but I didn’t want anything. Odd.

Onto the eats:

Greek yogurt, raisins, granola, banana (what can I say, I was on a kick this week)

Enchilada casserole, two small papusas

Vegetarian chili with cheddar, light sour cream and jalapenos from my garden. I have the leftovers of this today for lunch and I can’t wait. I also had a corn muffin with this.

I don’t really have much to add to this post today. It’s a blustery, rainy and dark day here in the Sunshine State and it puts me in a pensive mood. I’m also trying to be VERY focused on my work today as I did too much goofing off yesterday and now I’m swamped. As if I wasn’t before, right?

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I do have a question (if anyone is out there and wants to reply):

I don’t go to a gym because I work full time and have a child at home. If I didn’t have a toddler, I would be there everyday. This limits what and when I’m able to work out but I would like to get back into lifting weights again. However, when I did that before I was going to a gym and had all the equipment. Now I only have 2, 5 and 10 pound free weights at home.

How do I put together an effective routine?

11.02.10

This week is flying by! I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday.

Yesterday’s menu:

Greek yogurt, raisins, granola, banana

Leftover hunan tofu with veggies and a little fried rice. Also had Sun Chips. Booo. Counted it and moved on.

Best dinner ever: shrimp tacos with chipotle sour cream and roasted okra. SO GOOD.

I actually got the recipe for the shrimp tacos from Just Cook This on Discovery Health and they are now a regular thing in our house. Sean and I love them – plus, it takes all of 15 minutes to prepare and it’s healthy.

Shrimp Tacos

Shrimp – about a pound

Fat free tortillas (the little 6″ ones) of your choice

Canned chipotle peppers in adobo

Light sour cream OR plain greek yogurt (both work well)

Purple cabbage, shredded

Cajun or Southwest spices

Lime wedges – don’t skip this!

Basically, cook the shrimp sprinkled in cajun or southwest spices. You can toast up the tortillas but I was lazy last night and didn’t – it was fine.

Put the chipotle peppers in adobo in the blender or Magic Bullet if you have one. You can chop it too but it’s messy and I find that the chunks just aren’t small enough. Mix the chipotle peppers with sour cream or greek yogurt. Take some advice though from personal experience – start out SMALL with the peppers and taste along the way to make sure the heat is okay for you. I adore spicy food, but last night I made it so hot that I had to drink milk with dinner.

That’s it. You put down a tortilla, put a little of the sour cream/chipotle mixture on it, top with shrimp and shredded cabbage and then squeeze fresh lime on it. Perfection. So simple.

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On another topic, I finished reading The End of Overeating and I really related to everything in that book – I highly recommend it. Some of the beginning is a little arduous to get through, I won’t lie. The author is a doctor (former head of the USDA) so his research is very clinical on brain functioning and the act of eating. It’s fascinating though. I also like how he started this whole project because HE has trouble staying away from food and wanted to better understand why.

This is not a book about dieting or what you should eat. I think that’s another reason why I liked it.

Anyway, one of his insights into overeating and how to stop is to treat your food like an addiction, and in many ways, (for me anyway) it is. Not all food, but trigger foods – which for me is sugar. When I have some, I want more. Always. I can moderate many foods, but sugar is not one of them.

So his suggestion is that of an addict – you can’t just have a little of something, at least not in the beginning. You have to say NO, and it has to be a firm decision. The moment you waver, you will likely choose to eat it. This also serves to reduce anxiety about food because it’s not a choice – you just don’t have it. There is no internal struggle.

You know what? It works. I have not had any sweets at all this week. The hardest part has been at night when I crave them around 8pm, and there’s a whole bucket of Halloween candy in my kitchen. But you know what? I look at it and just say in my head NO. It’s not even a choice. And I walk away.

I hope that someday I will be able to just have a little and not worry about it. Maybe I will. But for now, I’m just saying NO. And I feel good about that.

11.01.10

Yesterday was a pretty decent day for me food-wise. I stayed away from sweets, and put Meg’s Halloween candy on top of the fridge, our of sight. There’s a huge bowl of candy in my office but thankfully it is also out of eyesight and it’s Tootsie Rolls. Not really a fan.

Anyway, so yesterday went like this:

Greek yogurt mixed with granola and raisins, a banana

Small serving of enchilada casserole, light sour cream and a homemade papusa. YUM.

Hunan tofu and veggies with a little fried rice, veggie spring roll. I was craving Chinese food. I have the leftovers for lunch today and I’m looking forward to it.

I also had hot tea x 5…I’m still not completely over this sinus/throat/ear deal I have going on and I feel soothed by the hot tea. No sugar in it though – just straight up.

My exercise yesterday was chasing Meg around and tracing our bodies on the sidewalk in chalk – then dressing/decorating them. Not really exercise, but it makes my heart and soul happy. 🙂

Halloweenie

Another Halloween has come and gone. Yesterday was pretty great and I’ll have to post a picture of Meghan as a little Alice in Wonderland as soon as I download them.

Edited: here’s one –

We had a great time getting together with friends, watching the Bucs game (a win, thankyouverymuch) and then carting around the neighborhood I grew up in with a bunch of 3-5 year olds and a bunch of parents, dragging two wagons with coolers and a radio. We were quite a sight.

I most certainly did NOT have too much wine. Most definitely. 🙂

Then again, I wasn’t feeling well still yesterday so I didn’t eat very much + a few glasses of wine = woozy Jenn. I suppose the devil horns I wore were fitting.

There was a nice spread at my friend’s house but I was concerned that there would be no vegetarian food. I needn’t have worried since they had a veggie tray, fruit pirate ship (way cool) and a cheese/cracker tray.

We brought guava paste with cream cheese and cuban crackers (try it sometime – very good!) and I made twice baked stuffed potato skins.

Here’s what I did:

Baked 8 potatoes for an hour at 400 degrees. Wait about 10 minutes after you pull them out of the oven, then cut in half and scoop out the potato guts.

I used a ricer to put the potato through so it would be really smooth and that worked well, but you could also just use a potato masher.

To the potatoes, I added light sour cream, cheddar cheese, queso blanco mexican cheese, salt, pepper, garlic powder, green onion and some milk to thin it all out. Cream cheese would work really nicely too but I was trying to keep it from being a gazillion calories. Bacon would also be good if you eat meat.

Then I put the mixture into a freezer ziploc bag, cut a corner for a tip and piped it back into the empty potato skins. You could just scoop it bake in, but this makes it way easier and faster.

Then I put them in the fridge and before I went to the party, baked for 30 minutes at 35o degrees. They were GONE and I got so many compliments on them.

As for candy, I ate (all mini’s): a PayDay, 2 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, a Butterfinger…wow, I think that’s it. Sounds like a lot, but that’s not very much for a fiend like me. Now I am staying away from it to rid my body of all the processed sugar.

And now, back to the business of losing weight.