Fantasy

Let’s pretend I had a good weekend. Let’s just say that I didn’t drink any wine, there wasn’t tons of sodium involved and I had perfect control. Didn’t pick up any goodies at the store and was strong in the face of temptation.

…and then I woke up.

Because in reality – none of that happened. I wanted it to. I went into Saturday focused and strong…and it was downhill from there.

Saturday included chinese food (though I did share with Sean) and falafels.

Sunday included candy and spinach artichoke dip.

As a result, I am up 4 pounds on the scale this morning. Happy Monday to me.

And if that wasn’t enough, I was determined yesterday that I would start getting up at 5am to workout. Yep, didn’t do that either.

I think that if I got up at 5am and LEFT to go to the gym or something, it would be different. I think I could do that because you are already out the house.

But when faced with my warm, cozy bed and snuggling up with my warm, fuzzy pups…well, guess which wins.

I won’t lie. I’m feeling like a failure this morning. It sucks.

And it just reinforces what was said by the author of The End of Overeating – the second you start to waiver on a food choice, you will likely give in. You have to have a firm NO when faced with it. There is no choice.

Although on the bright side today, my new haircut is cute and I like my new outfit. So there is something positive about today. That, and my girl looked adorable heading off to school today in her dress, leggings and boots with her watch and accessories. Such a little fashionista. It makes me smile.

God, I hope she never has to struggle the way that I do. This internal everyday battle just drains the life out of me. I’m tired.

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